Is nothing sacred in Hollywood?
Apparently not.
James Bond is giving up his traditional shaken martinis for beer. And not just any beer, mind you. And thank God it’s not going to be for one of those sissy, light beers.
According to Advertising Age, Daniel Craig will be downing Heinekens in the next 007 action-adventure – SKYFALL – scheduled to open on November 9th. The film is directed by Sam Mendes and co-stars Javier Bardem.
In other words, brewed, not stirred.
Craig as Bond will also be seen in Heineken advertising promoting the Holland brewed beer that’s the second best selling import after Mexico’s Corona.
Heineken USA also markets Newcastle Brown Ale, Amstel Lite and a new Mexican brand called Indigo.
But Bond’s sticking with Heineken’s flagship brewski
In a related item, Heineken USA announced it will be redesigning its familiar green short neck bottles in favor of long necks. Heineken long necks are already being sold worldwide and are slated to make their American debut next year.
In the words of a wise man – strike that – make that according to Jack, a beer without a good head is like Stroud’s without choked chickens.
Good head is good in many ways.
Heineken… Terrible stuff…
$tirred no more
So Bond’s handlers sell out to Heineken for the big bucks. Come to think of it I can’t blame them.
Heineken is not good beer. It’s the beer that d-bags drink so that they think they look cool. “Hey that Snookie looking chick now thinks that I afford expensive beer.” I bet Craig drinks Heinkeken. There are hundreds of micro-brews and other imports out there that Heineken can’t hold a candle to.
Heinnykin: Skunk Beer.
That is all.
James Bondage
Same agency, NMA Inc, that got Bond out of the Aston Martin and into a BMW cut the Heineken deal. Head of the agency, Norm Marshall was featured in the recent Morgan Spurlock mockumentary, Pom Presents The Greatest Movie Ever Sold.
Mick, Heineken BLOWS, so yes, I’d assume craig drinks it!
Word
I’m All About
The darker, Bourne-like Daniel Craig version of Bond as the franchise definitely needed a shakeup, but I have to draw the line on this change. The “shaken, not stirred” martini is as iconic as his License To Kill. The shitty little rich college girl-friendly Beamer over the Aston-Martin was bad enough, but Heineken?! That’s not even a good beer. It was “cool” maybe 35 years ago when it was practically the only available import and Jack was touting it in “The Last Detail”, but it’s pretty low-rent now and couldn’t Bond keep the ONE element that was consistent thru all the countless movie versions? I can suspend disbelief on any crazy scenario that Bond has encountered on screen thus far (Moonraker?!), but I’m sorry, I’m not buying the fact that a guy as cool as him would suck on a green bottle of shitty suds. My whole world is upside down right now.