Yearly Archives: 2011
Glazer: How I Became an Outlaw & Learned to Pull the Trigger on My Fellow Man
"He stood six foot two, weighed 195, was kinda broad at the shoulders, narrow at the hips, and everyone knew you didn’t give no lip to Don Woodbeck"…
Play that back in your mind to the tune of the Jimmy Dean song, Big Bad John.
I had approached Woodbeck to be my partner and go after the prairie pirates that robbed me and years earlier tried to murder Don and his partner Jim Woyt. They got away, but their two friends weren’t fast enough and were shot dead.
That was the Arizona I knew in the early 1970s.
Star Search: Beauty & the Beast, New Star Publisher Faces Awful Earnings Music
In a perfect world I wouldn’t be writing what I’m about to write…
I’d be recuperating from hanging out until 3 a.m. in the Power & Light District, taking the measure of those pesky African-American flash mobs that threaten the struggling downtown entertainment Mecca.
Then, depending on my findings, I’d likely face a quandry.
Should I hold the story for my Wednesday print column? Or unleash it on the Star blog I was poised to set up on KansasCityCom. In other words, should the news come first online, or should the people who pay the bills – print subscribers – get first crack at it.
Therein lies a key dilemma facing the newspaper and print industries of yesteryear.
Starbeams: How Hot was it in Kansas City, Take Trois
The heat wave in Kansas City continues with no end in sight….
And you know what thatmeans, time for another round of…HOW HOT WAS IT?
- It was so hot, congress agreed to raise a the national debt CEILING FAN.
- It was so hot, my bank just installed a screen door on the vault.
- It was so hot, I didn’t even complain that CBS Survivor winner Danni Boatwright was topless in the studio Thursday!
Murphy’s Law: Speaking of Sports; Breaking Rules, Boosting Babes, Busting Hall
My first column on KC Confidential (and maybe my last) and I’m about ready to break four rules…
- Rule One. Don’t talk about the former person in the position. Folks don’t want to be reminded he’s gone. Unlike me the new writer, the old writer has a body of work to show his talents. I got zip. So I should just pretend he never existed.
- Rule Two. Don’t say anything negative about a a well-liked and now deceased public figure. I think the reasons for this rule are self explanatory. The person was well liked. The person is now dead. Nothing to be gained by saying anything negative.
- Rule Three. Don’t talk about fringe sports. That makes sense. When it comes to professional sports we’re pretty much a two team town. As a writer you want people to read what you write. So why write about a sport that has low interest?
- Rule Four. NEVER say anything negative about a female’s physical appearance. Especially if that female is a well liked local athlete. Actually this is a pretty good rule of thumb for life in general and not just for writing on a website. But it doesn’t make sense that we can write about how hot Anna Kornikova is but how unattractive other athletes are. Weren’t Dennis Rodman and Scotty Pippen two of the ugliest men ever to be on the same team?
But as previously stated, I’m going to break some rules.
Glazer: Heartless Chiefs Release Brian Waters, For What? You Watching, Sam?
He was NFL Man of The Year just two years ago…
He’s all that’s left of the last good Kansas City Chiefs team of the early 2000s. He was a pro bowler in last year. He was the locker room leader of the Chiefs. And he was cut yesterday.
Brian Waters, age 34, all-pro guard was released by the Chiefs. As usual with the Chiefs – and too many other teams – not enough kind words came from the top. Nor did they seem to care in the least.
"It was mutual," was the storyline. Sure.
Waters was probably in his last year, playing well and wanted to finish his career here in KC.
Uh, no. Bye.
Since Hank Stram, the Chiefs front office – especially Carl Peterson – has been at best, ice cold.
Tonight: I’m Back, Joe’s Leaving, Take a Number…
Talk about one-two punches…
I don’t know what you thought about me being mostly MIA the past two weeks, but it’s clear you were thrilled by my brainstorm to have Joe Miller execute a 10 parter on his way out of Kansas City. I thought Joe did a kickass job, by the way.
He butchered some sacred (and not-so-sacred) cows and let his hair down just enough to incur the divine wrath of KC Confidential’s finest, our comments Hit Squad. For the vast majority of readers who never venture into our online mosh pit, I assure you Miller’s exploits here – journalistic and otherwise – were significant.
That said Kansas City is a barbecue town and clearly our comments crowd prefers its ends burnt.
WWE style…
Joe Miller: Famous Last Words
Hearne’s been sending me ideas all week for things to write about.
He wants me to write about Gloria again. But I can’t upload vomit.
He wants me to write about Tony’s Kansas City. But it’s the same thing with diarrhea.
He wants the “top reasons why Kansas City will never truly make it to the Big Time.” But that would be pretty stupid coming from me because there are a lot more reasons why I won’t.
He wants me to write a “road map for KC to mend its small town mentality ways.” But I don’t really think KC has a “small town” mentality. I think it has a suburban mentality, which is worse. So my road map is this: Remember that Kansas City is a fucking city.
But that’s not really enough for a column. And not just any column. My last column.
Today: Major Renovations @ Downtown Marriott Send 12th Street Jump to Jardine’s
Time to do some reading ‘tween the lines…
Word that theater and jazz guy Mark Edelman‘s 12th Street Jump, old time jazz radio show is on the move again was an eyebrow raiser. The show will move this fall from the Downtown Marriott lounge to Jardine‘s jazz club, just north of the Plaza.
The show launched two years ago as the 12 O’Clock Jump and broadcast live at midnight on KCUR-FM from KC’s historic Mutual Musicians Foundation. That was then. A year later Edelman and the MMF parted company over – what else? – money and the show migrated to the hotel on12th.
But while a move to Jardine’s may also be money-motivated, this time there’s no bad blood. Sources say the Marriott is embarking upon a major redo of it’s dated lobby and lounge areas.
In the hope of staving off a 1,000 room convention hotel that’s been on the drawing boards for years?
Jack Goes Confidential: ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’ Delivers Character Driven Bittersweet Comedy
Finally a smart new bittersweet romantic comedy that doesn’t resort to raunch to get laughs and make its point!
In CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE Steve Carell seemingly has it all. Good job. Nice house. Great kids and married to his childhood sweetheart Julianne Moore.
And then it happens right over dinner!
They’re both studying the menu, when Carell asks her what she wants and she replies: "a divorce."
Jack Goes Confidential: ‘Cowboys & Aliens’ Brings Marauders from Space to Old West
Hot Damn…
A stroke of genius. Combining the western genre with that of today’s alien fascination. But hold it right there! Didn’t they do that back in 1999 in THE WILD, WILD WEST?
They sure did.
But in COWBOYS & ALIENS they do it a hell of a lot better job of it. Not only is the talent in front of the camera—
Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford—to be reckoned with, the movie’s production credits are impressive as well.
Joe Miller: The Writing Life
I’ve been writing professionally for about 17 years.
I’ve got boxes and boxes of clips and a whole wall of awards. I’ve written a book that was published by a top publisher and got great reviews and won a couple of awards. Yet I’m getting paid less now for articles than I did when I first started out.
For this 10-post series I’m writing for Hearne I’m receiving $500. And I had to fight to get that much.
I’m also working on a story for the Lawrence Journal-World about the Kansas Book Festival for which I’ll earn $50.
In the late 90s, when I was a largely inexperienced hack, I got paid $100 for the same kind of article.
By contrast, I sold my book for $150,000.
Barbarick: Even Foolish Dreams Come True: Cinderella @ Starlight 07/26/11
For a story hell-bent on making the audience wish it were the protagonists, Starlight’s production of Cinderella succeeded.
It did a great job of making me wish I was a member of the ensemble – one of the nameless, nearly faceless human props. If I could be so fortunate, all I’d do is dance with an attractive member of the opposite sex, wear brilliant costumes that accentuate the better parts of my body, look happy, sad or puzzled (when appropriate), sing choruses (with not too much passion), take my bow, then pick up my paycheck after the curtain dropped.
No eternal love, no happily-ever-after, but I’d feel honest because I’d have said nothing – would not have declared a passion I did not demonstrate.
Sounds Good: Cowboy Indian Bear@Jackpot, Hearts of Darkness@Legends, Hottie@Stanford’s
Think of this weekend as a little warmup…
You know, go out Friday, see a few good bands, have a drink or two. Wake up Saturday with a dry mouth and ringing in your ears.
Then Saturday hit it even harder.
Drink more. See more bands that are even louder and more rockin’. Lose even more of your already diminished hearing.
Why, you ask?
Well, Wednesday, on August 3rd at the Uptown, My Morning Jacket is going to rip your damn face off three times before you hit the ground if you’re not ready for it. This is an absolutely can’t miss show that also features one of my new favorites bands, Delta Spririt, doing the opening honors.
So go out this weekend, feel some bass pounding in your lungs, and get ready…
Glazer: From Party Time to Slam Time, Tommy Chong Returns to KC @ Stanford’s
Tommy Chong and I were going through tough times back in 1988…
I was working at Stanford’s one night for a headline gig – that’s right – me doing comedy for an hour. I tanked. Sold out show and I blew it. A few nights later Tommy Chong was headlining the club. He also was off his game. Tommy was battling the loss of Cheech Marin, his longtime stage partner and film co star. I was in town for a five day furlough from federal prison.
My pal Seth Jaffe had warned me NOT TO DO MY PRISON bits.
I didn’t listen, because when I did stand up for the entire joint it killed. Well, they get all those jokes, the public, uh, not so much. Had I done my regular stuff, who knows? Maybe I would have become a stand up comic. But I felt so bad about it, that I quit doing stand up.
Dumb ass me. Chong. to his credit kept pushing the ball uphill.
Joe Miller: Central High Debate a Thing of the Past
In 2003, a debate team from Central High School finished tenth in the nation – an unlikely accomplishment, considering the school had been declared “academically deficient” by the state of Missouri a year earlier.
Five years later, debaters from Central won the National Association of Urban Debate Leagues’ national championship.
Central has won the city championship more times than any other school, even Lincoln College Prep, a school students have to score high on tests to get into.
And dozens and dozens of Central debaters have gone on to college, many of them with full-ride scholarships, while more than half of their classmates have wound up being drop outs.
Now the Central High debate program is a thing of the past.
Glazer: Chiefs Return Needs to be Wakeup Call for Star’s Mellinger
So as I wrote a few months back, the football strike that never really was, would be over soon…
Sorry, I mean the lockout. I doubt nine people could tell you much about it or what really happened and why. It’s like Watergate; we’ve all heard of it and, oh yeah, "Nixon’s a Crook." But can anybody really tell you what happened?
Uh, not so much.
And I’m not sure that Nixon (who I didn’t care for) really was a crook. No more so than the other presidents.
SO WHAT’S NEXT FOR THE NFL?
Joe Miller: Knocking One Out of the Park; The Highs and Lows of Politics
I’ve done a lot of drugs in my life, but I’ve rarely been as high as I was on Election Night in late March 2007.
I had volunteered for a campaign on a whim, and I wound up my masterminding an impossible upset of a popular politician who was the odds on favorite at the beginning of the race. I got a little help from the Star, of course, but they can’t take credit for it, so the victory was mine as much as any other’s.
So when the results came in and we learned that we’d won by the narrowest of margins, I felt a rush beyond compare.
Starbeams: Clay Chastain to China, Trucker to Jail & Willie to Ag Hall of Fame
China is trying to expand its high-speed rail service despite the wreck that recently killed 39 people. In an attempt to keep the project moving forward, they have asked Clay Chastain to collect one billion signatures.
*******
A green pickup stopped traffic for hours yesterday on I-70 west of Topeka. The truck was full of chemicals and covered with anti-government slogans. The man driving it was arrested. Chemicals? Anti-government slogans? If he’d have just made it to Lawrence, he would have been welcomed with a parade.
Donnelly: That’s More Like It! Sporting Man-Handles Toronto, Matches Longest Unbeaten Streak
Remember the last Sporting KC game, the one I called a ‘snoozefest’?
Well, Saturday night’s game was certainly a welcome contrast to last week’s friendly against English Premier League club Newcastle United.
First of all, there were goals scored. Six of them!
Some fans I spoke with after the game described it as the most entertaining of the season so far.
I’m guessing Kei Kamara‘s bicycle kick goal to open the scoring had something to do with it…
Today: What Boycott? P&L District Cover Charge Sends Urban Kid Crowds Packing
About KC Confidential’s scoop on the Power & Light District‘s new credit card only cover charge policy…
Looks like it’s working. The crowds of urban youth that have been assembling on weekend nights this summer outside the P&L were down markedly Friday and Saturday, reports KC Strip point man Bill Nigro.
"I drove through there and I’d say there were less kids there this weekend than last weekend," Nigro says. "Maybe 200 or 300 total. Where the week before there were easily 500 kids."
