The ship done sank before it left the dock…
Everything that you need to know happened in the first drive. Back to back 15-yard penalties against the Chiefs. A fumbled interception by Jon ‘Yee-haw’ McGraw. Our newly minted $50 million dollar man getting blasted for a touchdown.
The summation of the game reads like some sort of Kafkaesque nightmare crafted specifically to cost a head coach his job. Six turnovers. An anemic offense. A porous defense. Eight penalties for 70 yards to their 4/35. You’re never going to win this game on the road. EVER. You’re rarely going to pull this kind of thing off at home.
And perhaps the biggest blow of all was the injury to Jamaal Charles. Look, almost nobody in their right mind thought that the Chiefs would be winning the division this year, but strident optimists thought that maybe they’d be able to crap out 8 or 9 wins. If Charles is out for any extended period of time, however, all bets are off. It will mean that they’ve firmly planted themselves in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes, though.
Elsewhere:
On Saturday night, the Royals made it 7 in a row.
When was the last time the boys in blue won seven in a row? September of 2008. You know, when Eric Hosmer was sweating his way through Hop on Pop. It’s a crying shame that they can’t pull this off in July when it actually matters. Rookie Everett Teaford had a second consecutive start brimming with encouragement. Moose homered. So did Frenchy.
Hell yes, boys, taste that sweet nectar of success. Live it, love it, hopefully find it early and often in ’12.
*******
Kansas is a fluke, and they proved it handily on Saturday by getting curb-stomped, 66-24.
They gave up more yards than anyone ever in the history of yardage (as far as a I can tell; I didn’t bother to consult the record books). 10th straight overall road loss for the Hawks, 768 total yards allowed. Good luck with that fellas.
If you’re playing the Leathernecks of the Football Championship Subdivision, greatness is anticipated. The Missouri Tigers fulfilled that prophecy by trouncing Western Illinois 69-0. Though Mizzou set a team record with 744 yards of total offense, let’s go ahead and not pencil in similar results for next week’s game with top-ranked Oklahoma.
K-State continued their yeoman-like effort with a 37-0 pounding of Kent State. Except it didn’t seem as impressive as the score made it sound. You know, because it was Kent State. Sorry, Wildcats. Oh, and by the way—best of luck next week on the road against Miami.
*******
This Week’s Winner:
The Corpse of Donovan McNabb. Despite the Vikings loss to the Bucs, he likely staved off the unemployment line for one more week with his blistering 228 yards on 18 of 30 attempts. And yes, it’s fair to call this ‘blistering’ after last week’s 37-yard passing debacle that disguised itself as an effort.
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This Week’s Loser:
It’s too time-consuming to lambast the whole Chiefs organization, so we’ll pick on one person in particular. Over his last four games, Matt Cassel is 57-109 for 437 yards, with one solitary touchdown and nine pickoffs. His quarterback rating over this period is ‘negative penis.’
Yep
🙂
Nice Recap
Was listening to Lenny when McGraw fumbled the interception, crazy stuff..did he even get hit?
Charles gets taken out by Lions Mascot WTF. I give up–.
Kerouac you can have this season, at least the Raiders are terrible.
Had to go to Tanner’s to remember how to high 5.
Hey Brandon
Whaddya think about the Lions, going for it on 4th down, and throwing it to Megatron AGAIN!!
The game is WAY outta reach, and then, they (The Lions) do it again on 4th down.
THEN, Gunther gets the Gatorade Bath after the game.
Talk about a kick in the balls, Jesus do they hate KC or what?
No “turning it around” in our future
I hope the Chain’ts learn these few things after getting manhandled by the Lions:
1) that’s what an NFL pass looks like (laser-like precision)
2) that’s what NFL attitude looks like (I’m not only gonna block you, I’m gonna leg drive you all the way into the cheap seats)
3) that’s what an NFL owner does to make his team better (buy and draft game-changing talent)
I’m not crowning the Lions champions yet, but the owners of the Kansas City Chain’ts won’t be turning this franchise around in any way similar to what they’ve done in Detroit. The Fords and Lewand have taken an 0-fer team and built a great package who are now the talk of the league.
WELCOME!!! HURRAH!!! CHEERS!!!!
Hey…… are you the new guy? The new KCC sports writer?
Welcome….. and great job on your first post…
Look forward to reading your words 🙂
ps
Welcome to the jungle, post you words and take nothing in comments personal…. it is just the normal nopise in here…. it is just the internet
pps
unless I am missing something…. are you the new guy?…or ummm….. hmmmmmm
“Kafka-esque” as a sports analogy might be a bit much for this crowd to decipher.
Kafka, ain’t he
The Philadelphia Eagles new QB?
Nice style.
I spent the second half sticking pins in my eyes.
Uh…
…I believe the word you were looking for was ‘handily’.
I CONCUR
Good stuff. Especially liked the winner and loser section. Like the new thought of giving us Matt’s stats over the last four games. Great ideas. Welcome and keep it up.
Trying to use a dollar word where a nickel word will do
Kafkaesque is not a synonym for “nightmarish,” as you’re using here. It means entanglements that lead to more entanglements, a confusing succession of events in which the planes keep shifting just as soon as you’ve adjusted to them. Read “The Trial” before you try to shoehorn it into your next column.
I yi yi
I believe your spelling of emplode is encorrect. But you got through five words before making a mistake, which surpasses hearne’s track record, so you have that going for you
Thanks, Everyone…
For the kind words and warm welcome.
@Chuck– I had no problem w/ the Lions laying it on, thick and creamy. This isn’t Pop Warner. Hopefully, a lesson was learned.
@Gregor– per Merriam Webster: ” of, relating to, or suggestive of Franz Kafka or his writings; especially : having a nightmarishly complex, bizarre, or illogical quality “. Not sure what you mean, friend.
Though it SHOULD be “Kafkaesque,” no hyphen. My bad. Hearne– can we get that changed? Also: Nick’s right… should be ‘handily’ in the header of the KU blurb. Good catch.
And u Sir R
a class act for acknowledging your readers and when you make a mistake. Of course some folks seem to be English teachers. Hope ur behavior is catching.
At Last
Refreshing very refreshing great job and good writing. To the point with the stories and no bullshit.
Breaking News
Chief’s football practice was delayed nearly 2 hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.
Chief’s owner Clark Hunt immediately suspended practice & called the FBI.
After a complete analysis FBI experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE.
Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season!!!
Actually, I’ll take the hit on that typo, not Brandon.