Tony: The Key To Eternal Blog Survival

I’m often comforted and frightened by the thought that so many of the words I’ve blogged on the Internets will remain archived until the end of recorded human history and for a short time thereafter.

Either by way of The Wayback Machine or the secret dossier that Google and Facebook are keeping on all of us. The Web really is a lot more permanent than people realize. Despite the fact that local online publishing operations tend to have the lifespan of a June-bug.

So, because I’m a generous and kind soul with a penchant for busty lingerie models, I’d like to share the keys to bloggy immortality. And while I can’t promise any of my advice will earn gentle readers even pocket change to help with their electricity bill, it’ll certainly delight potential employees who need an excuse to pass on your application.

Now, on to the advice . . .

Rule Number One in order to earn bloggy immortality: Try Not To Die!

You want to know who the best blogger in Kansas City was not so long ago? He was a longtime denizen of the Westport Scene by the name of Greg Beck. His blog "Death’s Door" didn’t offer news but was a groundbreaking perspective that included honest insights and wonderful analysis of local events. He was beloved by everyone who knew him and white chicks really dug his writing. Sadly, a sudden heart attack ended his bloggy reign over Kansas City and there really was never a substitute to pick up where he left off.

Again, it should be noted that nothing ever really disappears from the Internet except myspace profiles and somewhere on an underground server (spooky) the writing of Mr. Beck will endure as long as there is energy to power the Internets. So at least 17 years from now, right?

Rule Numero Dos to bloggy immortality: Don’t be so ambitious!

Present Magazinewas an upscale online publication that earned a great deal of online notoriety and online advertisers. Ultimately, all of that class and substance got them nowhere and they ceased publication early this year after months of a semi-regular posting schedule. What’s important to remember about Present is that they represented higher standards of content, photos and user participation that were essentially meaningless to online audiences with advanced ADD brought about by the ongoing Decline of Western Civilization.

Now, let’s finish off with a trifecta that sums up everlasting life on the Internet: Online publishing is nothing more than casting pearls before swine.

That’s not to say that making anonymous cowards angry isn’t a fun and often lucrative pastime.

But in the end, people destroying the old school media institutions in search of free content that ranges from funny kittens to local gossip aren’t really worth a lot of effort.

Example: Tom Bogdon was a local writer and publisher and he was basically too good for his audience. His KC Tribune effort was commendable and offered some great journalism but in the end was never sustainable because he simply cared to much about his craft. Sadly, Bogdon lost a battle to cancer and that was what really killed his website.

And while so many loved ones and admirers will always remember his craft, the wonderful mistake of bringing objective journalism online simply failed. 

After all, the big profits and potential windfalls online don’t come from journalism but from social media sites that are attempting to rule the world by connecting hundreds of millions of users together so that they can sniff one another’s brain farts and hope for a privacy setting lapse. And while that endeavor is nothing but a pump and dump scheme, let’s save that topic for another day.

So, in the final analysis, bloggy immortality is possible but not really a worthy pursuit and often gets in the way of people enjoying real life or at the very least simply posting an equally enduring quick and myopic text message and then getting on with their lives.