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Some of you didn’t believe me…
Bryan Callen, who is at Stanford’s next week, is now officially a monster in the entertainment biz. Callen’s landed the lead on this fall’s most talked about new TV series., DEATH VALLEY for MTV.
Bryan plays a sheriff in a town ravaged by crime. However, the bad guys are ALL vampires and zombies. The show is big bucks.
MTV has never spent this much on a series in its history.
Callen, who had a nice role in The Hangover as the wedding chapel owner, came back with a larger role in Hangover Two as the co star, night/club owner. Bryan’s career was already doing very nicely with co starring roles on Fat Actress as well as his being a cast member of MAD TV and OZ on HBO. And he made $300,000 in a few days of shooting his Gillette spot for the razor commercial you see every five minutes on every channel.
I worked with Bryan twice and he is a pleasure.
So why the comedy?
"I just love doing it," Callen says. "I want to be one of the best on stage. In fact since the last you saw me, I have an entirely new act."
Last time Bryan was here, we hung out it was at the Hooters in OP with my wife, Connie. We all shot pool and Bryan was with her pal, Kelly. So that was about five years ago. Bryan was going to be back the next year, but he’s been working so much he’s had to cancel four years in a row.
"Not this time Craig," Bryan says. "I had to drop Wednesday because I have to do a commercial, but trust me I’m there Thursday."
I love to see hard working, talented people get the big breaks and Bryan sure has. Come join me and see a truly hot star and talented funny man in Bryan Callen next week at Stanford’s.
Who Ever Said Callen Sucked? Not Me
Saw him with Joe Rogan in Denver. It was a small theatre, sold out. To be honest Callen was funnier than Rogan. Joe was good, but Bryan was great.
This is but one reason I consider you such a buffoon …
I went back and checked your original post on Callen. One person … ONE … questioned his star power. What’s your headline today? “To Those of You Who Said Bryan Callen Sucks.”
It’s always “I’m right and you’re wrong” with Glazer — the most insecure “public figure” I’ve ever witnessed.
The guy is obviously a solid star. I thought he was hilarious in the original Hangover and based on remarks from others in your original post I have no doubt he puts on a great show.
Glazer What You Upset About Now
Who said he was sucky? The dude is cool. Why you trippin Bro?
Chill Glaze
Man one person attacks your guy and now we have to hear he’s the next Johnny Depp. OK, OK, we believe you!
Good For Callen
I’ve been reading a little about this new show. I watched the DEAD show on I think TBS, it was great. Hope his is as good. Saw him in Hangover Two, funny man. Good luck.
Thick as a Brick
As the one who posted the comment that got Craig’s panties in a bunch….I never said Callen sucked or anything remotely critical of the guy….I just questioned Craig’s excessive hyping of the guy as “star” of the movie franchise Hangover. It was clear to any fifth-grader with average reading comprehension that the comment was aimed not at Bryan Callen’s career credits or talent, but at Craig’s compulsive need to boast and puff and make himself seem more important and influential than he really is. (And then, for good measure, he concedes my criticism was correct by blaming the “Hangover Star” Bryan Callen wording on Hearne’s editing.) When I was on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, he called this Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That was right after he rejected Craig for the show because “nobody cares about a ex-con comedy club owner from Kansas.”
Have Rogan Teach Nigro Karate
If your guy is close to Rogan, maybe he can help Nigro learn to defend himself. Isn’t Rogan the bad ass on UFC fights? I have seen him on those shows. Your friend Billy Bob Nigro mad dogged me in Westport. Don’t he know I will kick his butt! He had his chance to say he was sorry to an ex employee that helped make him millions at Torre’s. He decided I wasn’t important enough, put me down, talked trash to me, called me a loser. Next time he does that I will take him down.
Some of you guys sure to live to spank Craig.
Hey, he described Callen’s exact roles in both Hangovers. It was there for all to see. Anyone who saw either movie – and millions did – could read and know exactly what the guy did in each movie.
Opened For Bryan At OP
The guy is smooth. Saw him in Hangover this week, he’s a scene stealer. Craig count me in on thursday buddy. I’ll get ahold of you for some tickets. Thanks in advance
Zzzzzzzzzz
never heard of him
BS Huh?
So if you never heard of someone they a nobody? This man gots the world going on paly.
okay…he’s the best actor since clint eastwood and
jackie chan…
who cares? the only one who defends him is you….because you said he was a star…
okay not big deal…he’s huge…power house actor…making billions…who cares?
So you ate chicken wings at hooters with him…who cares?
I ate a new york deli sandwich with jerry seinfeld at the mirage sports book…
who cares?
I shot craps with chuckie schwartz….who cares….does any one know who chuckie
is? lets see how good you are glaze…
Noone really cares…thats why they bang on glaze…its a b ig big nothing way for a
guy to make himself a big fish in a small small pond.
but who cares about this comedian…when you talk big time acts we’ll listten…til then
stick to PUSSY AND WOODSIDE…..and your squirrel…….
thanks hearne…another terrible terrible terrible piece……this website needs help…
and please get some more advertisers…
truth is the most mind stimulating pieces on this website are hearnes math teasers….
5 plus 9= 16 oh….i meant 14
Harley Whats the Point Again?
God knows Glazer is full of himself, true. I think in the nine million stories he has written and your 9 million ‘we hate glazer’ we all get that Harley. He tells us about a comic who clearly IS a somebody and you even down that? Why? I don’t see him promote all the shows with stories? He wrote about Carlos Mencia and a couple others I can’t remember all of them, but even I know who Mencia is Harley. No matter what he does or Hearne does you down them. So what if you are older and Glazer is a ‘girl magnet’ and you aren’t. So what if Hearne wants to write about The Star or Marilyn May. Its his website. You say it’s terrible, but you jump on here whenever you get a moment, TO SAY THE SAME THINGS. Be clever. You know who is good? Chuck and that bshultz lady. Clever. You are just a pissed off guy.
OK, fine, BRYAN CALLEN is the NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS of STAND UP COMICS.
Happy now?
I think people were complaining about your cheesy hype for him, not about him.
TIME OUT!
Holy Shit! KCC is turning into Shanin and Parks.
The words hero and star are misappropriated far too much. Apparently to be a hero these days you need to enter a line of work where you knew death was an option going in and then you just have to get killed doing it. That was easy! You’re dead but damnit, now you’re a fucking HERO.
Just because you are in the entertainment business does not make you a STAR. It means you’re an actor, musician, comedian, writer, athlete, dancer, artist et al, etc, blah fucking blah. WHAT-EVAAH GEENA
Does anybody really think that Snookie is a STAR?
As my desert walking non-shellfish eating talent agent/manager friend Ziggy “Boo-Boo” Zabortnik says….”You’re a REAL fucking STAR when somebody is willing to pay you AT LEAST TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS to do whatever the fuck it is you do and you can do it in a year.
Seems pretty reasonable to me.
KC
Sometimes Craig does a little infomercial..no big deal… ..Callen sounds like a good show.
@smartman STAR– 20 million in a year? I just want to make enough money so I can have the lifestyle of my wife and kids.
Glazer You Are The Most
Craig Glazer do not ever let these lops put you down brother. You know who this is right? Longt time, since Safford, huh? I am doing very well, we’ll talk. I have never written on this site, but read the articles at least twice a week. The LeBron article was a ten. Right on. He is a poor speaker and talks like a street thug. You nailed it. The rest was also on the dime, I like the comparison between the Lakers and the Mav’s. We see the games at 8 AM over here.Wierd huh. Hey I am still in great shape, playing tennis have a couple kids and a new wife, four kids to be exact. She reads your thing and laughs out loud. We get pissy on these lop headed comments on your butt Glazer, but you were always a conceited asshole, even in the joint.
OK you can back 90% of it up. I’ll give you that. Your book is even at our airport in the book store. Bought it, well done. Hope your movie goes that would be outstanding. The book would make a great film.
I have your office number and will call soon. What is your home phone or cell? Keep up these funny stories. I like the girly ones, my wife is not so cool on those. Hope you are still smoking the kind bud. I see you and Chong are pals, saw he and Cheech were in London, missed it. Maybe I will see them back in the states. Take care. Best to your crazy family.
Kelly’s Man
What the fuck did Nigro and Glazer do to you?
You are relentless.
Thousands of posts…
“I am gonna kick your ass. I am gonna kick Nigro’s ass. I am gonna whip, pound, smash, fuck up, etc etc etc…
Jesus dude, if your gonna post every fuckin time Glaze walks by a keyboard, you may as well document the trangressions of your former superiors.
Glaze did your girlfriend, and Nigro probably wanted you to show up for work on time.
What the fuck did you think was gonna happen?
KELLYS MAN: “Chuck, I’m gonna kick your ass. I’m here asshole, right here in Westport, as soon as I see ya, I’m kickin your ass. You better memorize some Karate Kid moves old man, cause I am gonna kick your ass.”
KELLYS MAN: “bshloz, I’m kickin your ass too. I am gonna get the Wall Street Journal outta your driveway, take it down to Westport, then kick your ass with it.”
KELLYS MAN: “Mermaid, I’m kickin your dad’s ass, general principals, I saw him buying a burger at the Westport Flea Market, by the way I’m kickin Joe’s ass too, that burger was over cookked.”
KELLYS MAN: “Glazer, you know…”
KELLYS MAN: “Hearne, I saw you at the KC Symphony, I was gonna kick your ass there, but I am waiting till I see you in Westport.”
KELLYS MAN: “I am kicking smartman’s ass as soon as he gets back from Dallas. Hey smartman, bring Dirk, I am gonna kick his ass too, and Jerry Jones too, fuck him, hes like Nigro.”
KELLYS MAN: “I am kicking anyone’s ass who is on this blog, I will meet you at the Jerusalem Cafe, I’ll be eating the falafel. I’ve kicked some guys asses in the Jerusalem Cafe before. I’m gonna kick the world’s ass next week.”
sheesh…
Kellys Man
Lets settle this once and for all in front of Manor Square. I’m wearing cargo shorts…Teva Sandals…and flowered bowling shirt. Don’t try and get cute …got my fanny-pack loaded with quarters. 5pm Friday good for you?…would like to catch Kudlow if possible.
bschloz
Still lmao…
Can’t quit laughin….
“Lets settle this once and for all in front of Manor Square. I’m wearing cargo shorts…Teva Sandals…and flowered bowling shirt. Don’t try and get cute …got my fanny-pack loaded with quarters. 5pm Friday good for you?…would like to catch Kudlow if possible.”
Jesus that is funny!!
Utilitarian, Man of Action, Kellys Man…
ACOLYTE: “Bishop Finn, bad news.”
BISHOP FINN: “My daughter had the abortion?”
ACOLYTE: “No, Kellys Man is inciting a pogrom.”
BISHOP FINN: “Thank God, we need many more pilgrams.”
ACOLYTE: “No your eminence, Kellys Man wants to kick some ass, Jews.”
BISHOP FINN: “No shit, I wanna put some asses in the pews too, but the priests keep blowing the kids!”
ACOLYTE: “Oh snap!!!”
BISHOP FINN: “Very fuckin funny. Andrew Weiner just called and asked me to resign, and your makin jokes.”
ACOLYTE: “This Kellys Man sounds really serious, and if he kicks Craig Glazer’s ass, we are gonna look even worse than we do now.”
BISHOP FINN: “We might look worse, if I got caught on camera perusing a Nambla News Letter, but I hide those at my mom’s house, and Craig fuckin Glazer will beat Kellys Man’s ass so bad, his unborn grandchildren will have scars.”
ACOLYTE: *cell phone ringing* “Its Nigro, are you here?”
BISHOP FINN: “Where do his kids go to school?”
ACOLYTE: *declines call*
Jonny Dare’s Lil Dick Bitch piece
Speaking of hilarious:
http://www.freejohnnydare.com/fjd/2011/06/little-dick-bitch/
Robertoe
That IS hilarious!
Screw YOu Chuck and Bshlotz
You are both on the list with Nigro. HE OWES ME MONEY. I worked for him years ago and made him a millionaire. He screwed me over. I showed him how to make those Pizzas. He dogs me now. I am after him,Glazer and all of you. STay out of Westport or I will find you and run you out like I did Nigro. He shakes when I walk by. Chuck I think you ARe Glazer with different names.
I really didn’t think you would take this so seriously
Kellys Man.
Ok, I’m sorry, I was just kidding. I don’t wanna be on a list and I hope I don’t have to look over my shoulder every time I go out, weather it is Westport or not.
So, Lets just forget this, OK??
Hey, you know what, on second thought, go fuck yourself.
A list?
I am not Glazer, and as far as your concerned, my last fuckin name is Norris.
Heh, heh…
You showed him how to make the pizzas??
An “Intellectual Property” dispute.
KELLYS MAN: “Hey Nigro, I think this shit would taste better with more salt.”
NIGRO: “Ok”
KELLYS MAN: *under his breath* “You owe me man.”
Fuckin awesome, your pissed off about a pizza recipe.
Not The Salt the Recipe
I gave him my grandmothers pizza recipe from 1939. He used it. I made him rich. He fired me. OK Chuck so you are not Glazer. Maybe you are Nigro?Maybe you are a mean man like bshouloz is. i am homeless now. Are you happy? I roam Westport looking for a free drink or a handout. I was once a well paid cook too. All this is Nigor’s fault. I went to Glazer for a job in 1999, he said NO. SEE IT Was a consipracy to keep me down. They had jobs available back then. My cousin got one as a cook two months later at STanfords. So just keep putting me down. ASk Bill about the dent on his car door? Yeah Nigro. I see you don’t comment here anymore cause I have you on the run. Now I will find out who Chuck is and have him in the same boat.
Robertoe is Also Nigro
Another fake name for Nigro.
Kellys Guy–All right, thats actually interesting–
but, if your homeless, and bumming drinks in Westport, how do you manage a high quality internet connection every day?
Just cuious.
What bars in Westport give you free drinks? Was your mother Italian? What actually was the recipe? Was it just one recipe for one pie, or did Nigro steal an entire book of recipes from you?
Did your grandmother have a restaurant here in the city? Did you work for her, or people in your family that taught you how to cook?
Where do you sleep usually and do you actually see Nigro and Glaze around town?
Did Nigro deny stealing your grandmother’s pizza recipe? Is that recipe still being used?
Again, what is the recipe, and what would make it so unique, so different, that you could actually claim some type of ownership?
Do you often get into violent confrontations in Westport?
Tell us about one, but more specifically, the events leading up to the confrontation, what you said, what (Nigro, Glaze???) said, and then what happened?
As a homeless person in Westport, do you think it is more dangerous now, than in the past?
How do you see yor future? Is there a way out for you? Do you see yourself working agian soon? If not, why not?
Did Nigro ruin your life so much that you can’t get back on your feet?
Will things get better for you?
Library and Friends Houses
everyone has computors now. Chuck I can see you are not a bad man like Bill. So I took you off the list. I am a drunk and drug addict. ok, happy now. I sleep on coaches and in the alley in Westport, unless Bill kicks me out. I am 47 years old now. My life will likely not get better. I still drink at Kellys, they give me free drinks, beer mostly. I blame it all on Nigro. If he woulda let me stay on maybe things would have worked out different. Good luck to you.
Things will get better for you.
I am putting you first in my prayers today.
🙂
Damn I hate when Callen is on the JRE