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Hats off to the ongoing creativity of adult movie makers who bring their latest porn-on-demand into our living rooms…
Or, for that matter, into any cable ready room in the house. You’ve gotta give’em credit for keeping the, uh, creative juices flowing when titling their little gems. Which we then get the pleasure of purchasing for a limited 4-hour viewing window.
Here then the latest batch of my current 10 favorite pay-per-view titles:
1.–TICKLE HER IVORIES
2.–LICK LICK BANG BANG
3.–MORNING WOOD
4.–HER DREAM CUM TRUE
5.–SOAKING THE SHEETS
6.–CHOKE THE CHICKEN
7.–GEISHA GAGGERS
8.–HUMP MY BLACK RUMP
9.–DIRTY ROTTEN CREAMRS
10.-MONSTER ROD RIDERS
Oh, and special kudos for the Best Description of a current title, for something called 7 HOTTIES IN JAIL. Its teaser entices us to watch it via the following brief storyline:
"7 scenes of Butt N’ Boobs getting worked behind bars!
Taylor Hayes is getting shafted by a nightstick, Cricket’s tasting the penal code and check out the new lesbos on the block!"
…..Imagine all that for a mere $12.99.
Oh yeah. When I describe these as my "favorites," I’m talking about the titles, not the movies themselves. You’re on your own in that regard.
Double feature
Hey now, ‘Morning Wood’ would make a good double feature with ‘Geisha Gaggers’.
Who comes up with these titles anyway?
Any quickie prices available?
$ 12.99 is pretty high price to get your jollies. And who really needs it for four hours? Does the cable company offer any 3 minute wham bam thank you mam specials for us fasties?
Are they graphic or “artfully edited”?
Rented an adult on-demand in a hotel once and only once because there was nothing graphic. I always figured the cable on-demand would be the same hard “R” rated bullshit. Can anyone clue me in?
Artfully Edited–Depends
Skeptic—
It really depends on where in the country you are…As a frequent traveler and hotel room porn watcher, I’ve seen varying degrees of edits in the porn, and it varies from city to city depending on their outdated “decency” laws…Las Vegas, San Francisco and others are basically “no holds barred” and absolutely everything is shown…Other towns (Tulsa maybe?) it’s a tad level higher than “Skinomax”—you’ll see boobs and sex acts, but no penetration and most of the shots are wide angle…And the video stops just as/just before the “money shot”.
Gay Sha Girls
Gay male porn has the best titles, The Christmas epic The Buttcracker is an all time favorite. Glory Holealujah is another rock solid flik. Beau White and the Seven Inch Dwarfs is genius. Who can forget Anus and Andy! Butt Pirates of the Caribbean with Capt’n Jack Swallow is superb. The real winner is the recent release Who’s Nailin’ Scott Palin.
Smartman is right–the gay titles are hilarious.
10 years ago, we all laughed our asses off at “Shaving Ryans Privates”.
Or, the oldest one of all, “Rear Admiral”.
Ok, I remembered the picture on the front was funny.
So I googled “Saving Ryan’s Privates”.
Goddamn its funny.
There are a bunch of parodies and copies, but the funniest one is the original.
It shows a bunch of guys—well, just look at it…jeeze its hilarious.
Hey smartman…..
….your titles are too funny. I can’t top them!
Keep’em cuming……