Long time, no Starbeams…
For 31 years a gentleman who went by the name of Bill Vaughan wrote something approaching a column in the local newspaper of record. His so-called aphorisms appeared for years under the heading “Starbeams” until his death in 1977.
One example, courtesy of Wikipedia:
“A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.”
Alas, it’s been awhile since any of Vaughan’s successors bothered to beam any beams KC way.
A few years back, then Mix 93.3 FM afternoon personality Kelly Urich contacted me with an offer to write them for the Star. To resurrect that which Vaughan established. I ran it up the flagpole and was told that it was an interesting idea but even then, the paper had no budget for it.
Flash forward to the present…
Urich took a year off for good behavior and returned late last year to Entercom’s 99.7 Kiss FM weekdays from 2 p.m. to 7 p.m.
Now he’s ready to rumble and Monday through Friday will be unleashing Starbeams each and every morning on K.C. Confidential.
hooligan
at least have the good sense, and taste, to not call them “starbeams.” oh wait, this is kcconfidential and such things don’t exist on this site.
smartman
The things people do to validate their lack of self worth is amazing. Let the self loathing begin. How much longer til Mrs Funk has a seat in the KCC dugout.
Uncle Dick
Smartman, Mrs. Funk will be too busy for KCC. The Kansas City Roller Warriors, a female roller derby team, announced that Gloria has joined the team as a blocker, being she’s had experience blocking any progress her husband might have made as Mayor. She will go by the name
“Dee Tractor”.
MandDShagger
Yeah Uncle Dick I heard she lost her job sorting mail at City Hall. She got confused when things were addressed to Stupid Mother Fucker, Dumbass and Moron.
Uncle Dick
Too bad, as she used her hands and feet, but that’s another factor in her dismissal, she took the jobs of four of Cauthen’s girl friends.