Because I’m a person who at least pretends to embrace multiculturalism I try not to get annoyed by the fact that so many non-Catholics celebrate Mardi Gras as yet another drinking holiday.
Meanwhile, I’ve always hoped that Fat Tuesday interlopers would take on some of this guilt that the Catholic Church has instilled in its patrons if they’re going to enjoy the good times as well. Nevertheless, tomorrow there will still be clueless people wondering why so many Kansas City folks are walking around with ashes on their head.
But, ritualistic superstitions aside, I’m here to help and I want to put a quick guide together for tonight’s Fat Tuesday festivities so that I can fully enjoy the video game and snack cake frenzy I’ll be treating myself to tonight.
So, forget all the typical places where Kansas City might hangout tonight. Here’s a list of Fat Tuesday Activities that some folks might not have thought of:
1. Go any place but Jazz. There will be a minimum four hour wait for anybody lame enough to think they’re the only person to have this idea today. Also, I don’t have any proof but I’m almost certain that the impact on Kansas City sewers must be significant for all the people who don’t normally eat spicy Cajun food. Remind me to compare toilet paper sales next year.
2. Check out Susanna Lee and the Lucky’s DeLuxe Comedy Soiree at Czar bar tonight. I hear that burlesque babes like to be called curvy and not thick (or fat) but a giggly helping of these broads on stage just might lift local spirits downtrodden by all of this gray weather. Bonus: There’s no cover.
3. Popeye’s Chicken – C’mon, don’t even pretend that the thought of heart-clogging spicy fast food chicken wings hasn’t crossed your mind. This is probably the most accessible way to enjoy Fat Tuesday in Kansas City and patrons will get what they pay for if they don’t get robbed in the parking lot.
Any more fun than this might actually cost a bit of money and I don’t really want to help people who won’t be joining in any sacrifice during the season of Lent. Instead, as always, I’m reminding people to be safe during their partying and maybe save a bit of money in order to crash the next pseudo-Catholic drinking holiday: St. Patrick’s Day.
