These are interesting times in Kansas City. President Obama plans on sending more troops into the Afghanistan sausage grinder, local infrastructure continues to fall apart and we have a lame duck mayor caught in a downward spiral. In the midst of all of this, The Kansas City Star is dedicating a significant portion of their coverage to AMC’s outside food policy.
I wish I was making this up.
But no, The Star dedicated no less than a half a dozen people on their payroll to a story about AMC banning outside food brought in by cheapskates that the KC Business Journal broke first.
Here’s the damage:
The panic expressed by the Star over this outside food issue is the most hyperbolic I’ve seen since the last time a wealthy white woman went missing in Johnson County.
Check out the front page link collection spread on The Star’s clunky front page:
Again, looking that this loving coverage reminds me that Kansas City has hosted more homicides in 2008 and 2009 than we did in 2007. Murders are trending upward but the dimwits at the paper of record are worried about the ethics of outside popcorn.
Speaking of hot buttery goodness, did anybody see the comments from the wife of sports columnist Joe Posnanski?
Good gravy, these “healthy” suggestions seem like even worse heart cloggers than simple AMC snacky fare. There is only a headshot of this heifer but I’m willing to bet dollars to donuts that she has a huge ass.
Let’s look at the facts:
1. Topsy’s popcorn is made to be stale and is shipped in bags and tins throughout the metro.
2. Snacking on pure chocolate during a movie is a pathetic suggestion that could only come from someone carrying ovaries.
3. Custard? That’s nothing but frozen fat lady!
4. Fact: Posnaski’s wife writes for the Star too. The paper-of-record is literally paying people to comment on their pathetic bloggy offerings.
So, while I’m glad that Posnaski has plenty of ass to grab during the current winter of our discontent, this controversy thought up by his wife and other cackling hens is one of the most obvious reasons that it’s no great loss that dead tree media slowly turns to dust.
Again, Obama’s war is bringing a quick end to The American Empire, Eastside homicides barely rate a mention in the mainstream media and the Star is primarily concerned with where people are getting their popcorn.
Tony Botello
Gavin
Holy Shit. This is pot, hello kettle, you’re black. Check out the dude in the far left of this photograph: http://www.bottomlinecom.com/latestnews/pressclubexaminesblogs.html
Now THAT dude is a fatass. And there is no need to guess from a head shot. You can see the dude’s fat gut from space. You could feed his entire barrio from the lard rendered from just one of his many, many chins. He thinks that “beard” covers up his jowly goodness, but that guy is gonna be a Mexican Wilford Brimley, assuming high cholesterol doesn’t kill him before he reaches the age where he is old enough to legally consent for a gastric bypass and liposuction. Seriously, that dude is one fat fuck. Lay off the chicharrons, fat guy in the picture, if you want to criticize someone else’s weight. You keep eating like that and the gravy you sweat out will be visible in the hi-def pictures KC Confidential will be running of you in the not-too-distant future (assuming heart disease doesn’t kill you first from all that extra leaf lard you’re carrying around on your six-feet-across back).
Nice column, fat dude in the picture.
State of the Line sucks donkey dicks
“The Kansas City Press Club hosted a lively event that examined the ethics of bloggers…”
Bet that took about two fucking minutes.
Fredo
This is funny fuckin shit.
Gavin
I mean seriously Tony, you are one doughy pantload. Normally I don’t go in for the ad hominem attacks (go ahead, I’ll wait while you look up “ad hominem”), but when a seriously overweight dude, the type who gets winded while shaving, decides to make fun of people who aren’t fat by calling them fat all because he is just a miserable fucking misanthrope, well, I’m happy to jump in. And the sheer enormity of your girth makes it awfully goddamn easy. I think I can hear you wheezing all the way over for fuck’s sake.
jojo
a fat hispanic? imagine that? a fat filthy
hispanic? imagine that?
you are getting right up there into the
mangino range but to call out a mans wife
because she has a big ass? Howcan you do that
without even seeing the lady.
And calling her a hiefer? come on tony…you’re
better than that! Uh…well no you’re not.
You’re a piece of shit.
Adn guess what..you wasted space here talking about the snack controversey.
Ever been to a movie> Proably can
‘t get your fat lard ass into one of the seats.
Attack the man..not his wife.
You filthy disgusting excuse of a man.
kcredsox
You guys have me cracking up here. I also believe that going after a woman that you only see a headshot of is plain ass stupid, but that’s Tony for ya. Wonder what his sloppy seconds sidekick looks like, anybody noticed if any chick will even be seen with this slimeball?
Gavin
Jesus JoJo, racist much? We’re here to make Tony look bad and then y ou go and pull that racist shit and now you make him look good. “Fat, filthy hispanic”? You mean like Salma Hayek, who would have nothing to do with you even if you weren’t a mouthbreathing, knuckledragging idiot? Or like Oscar De La Hoya and Julio Cesar Chavez, two guys who could noty only buy and sell your family but also beat the shit out of you even if you had a knife?
Watch who you’re calling a piece of shit, you racist piece of shit. I mean, yeah, you’re right, Tony is a piece of shit but at least he isn’t hding behind internet anonymity like you and me.
mojo
Tony’s writing on this subject is yet another stupid attempt at humor but I do have to give him credit for his innate ability to bring out the worst in people.
I hope he can take solace in the fact that some his most loyal readers are also people who despise him the most.
get a grip
Tony you need to make yourself clear. You write about a big ass on a woman like it’s a bad thing. If you really claim to be a fan of rap music I don’t think this claim can be 100% correct. I sense a tinge of jealousy in your description.
fat chick
I think the reason Tony hates fat chicks is because even WE won’t sleep with them. It’s one thing to get turned down by hot chicks, but when when you go ‘slumming’ and your ‘slum’ turns you down because she’s too good for you…that’s gotta hurt.
JohnnyB
Gavin, you are one funny person. I’ll be checking this site just hoping to read more of your articulate, profane rantings. Keep it up.
get a grip
lol @ the fact chick. I think she has a point.
craig glazer
Tony you can sure start some crap, brother, thats an art in itself…you might be as good as Hearne in pot boiling over stuff….
Dino Martini
Glazer…you are one corrupt suckup.
Alba
Hiya!. Thanks a bunch for the blog. I’ve been digging around looking some info up for shool, but there is so much out there. Yahoo lead me here – good for you i suppose! Keep up the great information. I will be coming back in a couple of days to see if there is any more info.
TonyNeedsTwinkieAddictsAnonymous
Oh my god Gavin, you rock. Everything you said is right on. I don’t read Tony’s blog much, but when I come across it, his disgusting, sexist insulting posts calling pretty much all women fat (except the ones in the porn that he posts on his site, I guess) when he is a FAT FUCK (and yes, it’s true – I couldn’t see the picture you referenced, but I have seen him in person and DUDE IS OBESE) are just ridiculous. Hearne has really gone slumming by having that p.o.s. “contribute” to this blog. In fact, I stopped reading Hearne’s blog on a daily basis just because it was clear he was going in a trashy direction when he “hired” Tony. There’s enough trash on the internet without actively seeking it out. I guess that’s why I missed this crap-tastic post when it first came out.