Royals Kill Off Fat Farm: All U Can Eat Seats Go Bye-Bye

A funny thing happened on the way to writing this item…

The initial concept: unleash feisty KC Confidential entertainment writer Brian McTavish on those outlandish all-you-can-eat seats at Kauffman Stadium.

The mission: bring back a rollickingly high-larious account of life in the chubby lane, sans any stomach pumping action where the big guy was concerned (McTavish stands 6’7″).

But try as I did to get a response from Royals mouthpiece Toby Cook on whether the promotion still existed going into its third year, and how to go about getting seats (the team operator shot me to an outside ticket broker when I asked the first time), I did not get a return call or email.

Unfamiliar with the Royals’ fat farm foolishness?

Tickets for the jelly belly jam ranged from $30 to $45 each and included all the hot dogs, peanuts, nachos, soft drinks and popcorn a hungry baseball fan could stand. Five hundred all you can eat seats per game were available last year.

The latest?

After three days of trying to get a straight answer from the Royals, I was finally told by someone in the ticket department or whatever that the deal had gone south; no mas.

Since the Royals aren’t talking, so I can only field a guess as to why it went away. So here it is:

This time last year the Star gave the promotion front-page play (sans the inimitable, warped McTavish humor gene).

Oh sure, the chunky chow down chronicled the requisite local high school dude who slammed nine dogs, six bags of nuts and seven sodas. But instead of letting the risible times roll, the Star stuck it to the Royals, turning the tale into a teachable moment.

“The lineup of available food — in an era when people are supposed to be more aware of eating healthy — makes nutritionists cringe,” the Star sniped. “The offerings generally are high in fat and calories and low on nutrition, said Barb Marsh, a dietitian and nutrition coordinator at Shawnee Mission Medical Center.”

On and on the disparagement drifted, from the PR schmooze the Royals likely expected to the PR nightmare they ultimately got.

“Another group at the game was from Beauty Brands, a chain of stores that tries to help people look healthy and attractive,” the report noted. “David Bernstein, Beauty Brands