Hearne: RockFest 2012; So Many Boobies, So Few Beads

About last weekend's RockFest at Liberty Memorial...

The one where an estimated 55,000 head-bangers bellied up to 15 bands for nearly a dozen hours of drunken and disorderly debauchery. A politcally correct, freelance concert review in the Star glossed over the depravity by referring to "the antics of uninhibited women" and musicians who "actively encouraged...lewd behavior."

Leaving to reader's imaginations the question, how lewd was it?

"It was a great people watching crowd," says Westporter Bill Nigro, who worked the event. "Because you saw everybody from the beautiful people to the not-so-beautiful people. There were some stunning women there and there were some other ones that weren't."

Diplomatically said - but let's take it a step farther - how stunning?

"There was quite a bit of flashing," Nigro says. "I've never seen so many flashes. Ever."

 

Hearne: Best Buy Victim of Times, Sex Scandal, 'Psychological Marketing'

What goes around comes around...

Last year Jack Poessiger and I were talking to the head of one of Kansas City's biggest commercial real estate firms about a fancy-schmancy new retail development he was working on. One for which he'd procured Best Buy as an anchor tenant. Isn't that a little risky, I asked. Nah, he assured me, Best Buy was blue chip. A few days later I sent him a couple links to business stories suggesting otherwise.

Now check out this graph from an Associated Press story earlier this week about an unrelated sex scandal that has cost Best Buy both its CEO and founder.

"The latest revelations are part of a scandal that couldn't have come at a worse time for the 46-year-old retailer. The company, which has more than 1,400 U.S. locations, is struggling to regain its footing as it faces increased competition from online retailers and discounters. Customers have all but abandoned buying at so-called 'big box' stores like Best Buy."

"All but abandoned" Sound familiar? It should.

Sounds Good: Taj Mahal@Knuckleheads, Grant Hart@Tap Room, P-Funk@Crossroads, Bad Veins@Replay, CIB & Ghosty@Replay

For those that don't know, this week is American Craft Beer Week...

Yeah, I know it sounds like it was made up by American craft brewers.  But it does have a few benefits, particularly if you're in the Larry neck of the woods this Thursday evening.  Free State is teaming up with local milk gurus Iwig's Dairy at the Farmer's Market near 19th and Mass.  Word on the street is that these two local favs will be combining their wares to make the famous Oatmeal Stout Ice Cream Floats.

And that's just ONE of the benefits of American Craft Beer Week!  Trust me, there's lots more. 

By the way, next week is KC Entertainment Blog Week, so you know what that means.

Some good music this week, check it out...

Starbeams: So Spray Me, Dodge City Showdown & Snakebit @ Walmart

Spray-on seed has been has been added to the grounds at Liberty Memorial as part of a $3.6 million restoration.  This is nothing new as several dudes at the memorial over the years have asked me if I would like some of their spray-on seed.

*******

Dodge City street gang members have been charged recently with alleged racketeering and murder.  The term 'Dodge City Street Gang' was immediately trademarked by the History Channel.

Jack Goes Confidential: 'The Dictator' In Loving Memory Of Kim Jong-Il

What can I say about Sacha Baron Cohen that hasn't been said a million times before?

You either love him or hate him. He's the master of unstaged and unscripted ambush, confrontational comedy. And naturally, most of it's pretty offensive by today's PC standards.
 
The old DA ALI G SHOW followed by BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHAN and BRUNO certainly are proof of his obsession and his success.
 
But with THE DICTATOR Cohen ventures into uncharted territory.

Namely, scripted comedy using real actors. In this case Ben Kingsley and Anna Faris and a storyline of a tiny nation's dictator who risks his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.

Glazer: Scribe & Hottie Off to Puerto Rico for a Week

As we reach middle age we often find that we have or take very little time for ourselves...

We're always saving for our futures - but guess what - if you're over 45, it's already here! It's time to enjoy life and your friends. Most of you have all worked hard and maybe raised a couple kids, now it's your turn.

However, too many of us bought into the big lie. One of many, actually.

 That when you grow up everything will be swell. You'll be able to drive and own a car and won't need your mom or the neighbor to give you a ride. You'll get married, have a great job and kids and everything will be aces. Oh yeah, and you'll have great and loyal friends - tons of 'em!

What we eventually learn is that life is not too fair.

Glazer: An All Star Game With No All Stars, the Indignity of it All

So how bad is this Royals season thus far?

We have an All Star game here in about a month and we don't even have a single All Star on the Royals!!! At least not now. Maybe one will pop up in time for the mid season classic, but I wouldn't bet on it.

Before the season we thought we had about three or four.

Eric Hosmer, for sure, maybe Mike Moustakas, Alex Gordon and possibly even Danny Duffy. It looks like this today: Hosmer is batting under .200 and has all year - there's even talk of sending him back to the minors. WOW! Mike, I mean Moose, is decent with an average just over .300 and a weak four homers. He's our best bet as of today. Moose is also an outstanding 3rd baseman. Alex Gordon has been average, batting in the mid .200's (.258 now) with just 4 home runs and 16 RBI's - very average.

Now we get to the best - or is it worst - news.

Hearne: Pitch Congratulates Bogus 'Best Of' Buddy, Travel & Leisure Magazine

Will we ever learn?

I mean, really - we're such suckers. It's high time Kansas City media quit pandering to inconsequential "best of" promotions promulgated by loser magazines with little to no research credibility. Publications's like Travel & Leisure, which twice in two months has annointed KC in one of its so-called "surveys."

Contrived surveys that are published with zero information about how they were complied, the number of participants - you know, pretty much whatever one would want or need to know to consider the survey relevant or legit.

Kinda like those Pitch 'Best Of" issues...

So it's not really surprising that it was the Pitch which annointed Travel & Leisure's latest bit of tripe by "reporting" the results:

That Kansas City is the country's 8th best burger city.

Hearne: KU Students & Fans Celebrate Basketball Coach Bill Self's Rug

You know what they say about, if it ain't KU basketball season in Lawrence, it ain't happening...

And while it's not like every single thing in Larry revolves around Allen Field House, it does seem that way at times. Take the recent student newspaper Top 20 "KU Bucket List" of stuff the kids want to do before graduating.

  No. 10: "See Bill Self without his toupée: 'That’s something I’ve always been interested in. It looks so real. I think he has the sides still, but not the top.' — Killian Cull, a sophomore from Overland Park."

KU fans and foes have argued for years about whether the KU basketball coach wears a rug or not.

Donnelly: Sporting Self Destruct to Drop 3rd in a Row, Vermes Rips Refs

Sporting Kansas City played a decent first half Saturday at the Chicago Fire. 

Bobby Convey notched his first goal of the season with a one-timer that was set up nicely by Roger Espinoza's cut back cross and KC went to the locker room at the half up on the home side 1-0.

The second half was a completely different story. By the time the final whistle blew, Sporting had conceded a penalty, been shown a red card, and saw one of its alleged leaders attempt a fancy juggle inside his own 6 yard box which resulted in the go ahead Chicago goal.

Yeah, total nightmare.

So after starting the season 7-0, KC now sits at 7-3. Sure, the results have been disappointing, but more troubling has been Sporting's play of late.

New Jack City: Movies on the Silver Screen Still the Best Bet

No matter how you slice or dice it,  movie theaters continue to be the least expensive out-of-home entertainment...

And for the record the five year U.S. screen count---from 2007 through 2011---has risen from 38,803 to 39,718. That's an increase of 2.35%.
 
Here are some interesting stats courtesy of the National Association of Theater Owners---N.A.T.O. for short.
 
Since 1981, ticket prices have increased, on average, less than the rate of inflation. Forty years ago the average 1971 ticket price was $1.65. In 2011 dollars that ticket would cost $9.16.

Glazer: Scribe Wishes His Mom Happy Mother's Day

Like many of you, I lost my mother a few years back..

We only have one real mom and one real dad, so when they're gone it hurts. I think of my mother Rita Trantham every day. Yes, she was once Rita Glazer, but my father and mother divorced long ago. Her second husband John, was a great guy, but he too passed away this year.

On mother's deathbed she said she was proud of me and we had that long last talk.

It was painful, but I'm glad we did. You readers all know the "Glazer Boys" stories, so clearly we had many issues. My mother had far more sad days with us three kids than good ones. No doubt. I wish my mom would have lived to see King of Sting come out, but she died in 2007 when the book was done but not yet printed. She knew it was being published though. My mother also died just short of the opening of Stanford and Sons at the Legends. She did visit the complex and saw it being built before she was bed ridden.

What I most remember about my mom was how well liked she was in Kansas City.

Leftridge: Mother's Day Gift Ideas (Because Every Other Day is About You)

Look, we’ve all got mom’s, you know? (unless your mother is dead—in which case, I’m very, truly sorry for bringing it up. What happened, anyway? She was so young!) But anyway, moms… gotta love ‘em. Be they biological or a step, in-law or kidnapper, they’ve been there for you your whole life. She was there when you graduated high school and accidentally shit your pants with the compounded nervousness of being on a stage in front of thousands of people. She stuck up for you when you were learning to ride a bicycle and you accidentally crashed it into your douchebag neighbor’s Ferrari and put a scratch in it and that greasy Mexican screamed at you and called you a worthless piece of shit, berating you until you felt like ending your life at the tender age of 5.

Moms: God bless each and every one of them. But the truth is, you haven’t done enough for her. Trust me… you haven’t. But the good news is, you can start this coming Sunday. Selecting an appropriate gift is one way of beginning to build the bridge you burned when you stole $15,000 from her savings account and ran off to Thailand where you met a chick who didn’t turn out to be a chick at all (not that you knew that before you married it in a regrettable opiate haze).

Choosing a gift can be tricky, though. What kind of mom is she? Is she a nice mom, or a really nice mom? Does she like to sing, or does she like Singer sewing machines?

Hearne: And Now the 'Rest of the Story' on the AMC Entertainment 'China Crisis'

It's one thing for the hometown paper to get scooped on a huge story like AMC Entertainment selling out to the Chinese...

Quite another to pull up short on its front page followup. Unfortunately, that's exactly what happened earlier this week when the Star rolled out its version of the New York Times scoop on AMC being in talks to sell the company "or a significant stake" to China's Wanda Group.

How serious is Wanda? Apparently very.

"The Chinese group has reportedly been eyeing an acquisition since president Wang Jianlin said in a speech at Tsinghua University in Beijing in 2011 that his company would 'shock the world' with an acquisition to be made within the year," the news organization Want China Times reported yesterday.

Now a little much-needed background and perspective.

Whinery: MITT ROMNEY FOR PRESIDENT

Went to the Mitt Romney fundraiser at the Westin last night and - you heard it here first - Romney is going to win in a landslide in November...

Fifty-five to forty-five to be exact…

I know, I know. Everybody thinks Obama’s got it in the bag, but I don’t think so. What has Obama done except continue the policies of W that he said he'd rescind? Last time I checked we're still in Iraq.The popular belief is that Americans have left - but we still have tens of thousands of boots on the ground.

And while I commend the President for getting Bin Laden- If that was the goal in Afghanistan - what are we still doing there?

Unemployment is only going “down” only because the government’s numbers are hopelessly cooked.

Glazer: Add Gay Marriage to Obama Legacy of Ending War, Depression, Offing Bin Laden

In a bold move, President Barack Obama says he's ALL FOR GAY MARRIAGE...

Some may think this was merely a political move to stay out front of Republican challenger Mitt Romney.  The Republican candidate immediately jumped on it and said, "Marriage is between a man and a woman only!"

And with Obama is only slightly ahead in the polls that matter - far from where he's been in the past - many think this will be a very close race. Most observers feel the President's position on gay marriage will not help him much and in fact, may cost him valuable support.

Let's face it, this much of this nation still leans away from gays getting married. Me, I say live and let live. If two people want to marry that are of the same sex, and it doesn't hurt anybody else, let it be.

Besides, those divorce cases will be a hoot!

Jack Goes Confidential: 'DARK SHADOWS' Serves Up Retro Weirdness

Never having been a fan of ABC's old TV soaper my expectations of Tim Burton's movie adaptation were at best "in-check."
 
And guess what DARK SHADOWS the movie pretty well delivered on those expectations. Not more. Maybe even a little less.
 
Twisting the shows storyline just a bit, Warner Brothers' big screen adaptation maintains the basic plot of Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) who in 1752, along with his family, set sail for America where he became quite the heartbreaker.
 
But when he broke the wrong woman's heart---she got even!
 
She also happened to be a jealous witch who cursed him, destroyed his family, turned him into a vampire and buried Barnabas alive chained to his coffin.
 
Now move up to 1972 where Barnabas is freshly dug up by an ill-fated construction crew and resurrected in Collinwood only to find his old family's descendants in ruins. There's disco, microwaves, Chevy's---even The Carpenters performing on television for this vampire fish-out-of-water to face.

Hearne: The Gloves Are Coming Off for Next Year's '420 Day' Bash in Westport

Westport sparkplug Bill Nigro learned a very important lesson last month...

That when it comes to pot smoking, you can't be just a little bit pregnant. If you're going to localize and promote an annual celebration like 420 Day - the day that honors all things marijuana - you've got to be all in.

No pussyfooting around.

Not that Nigro's faint-hearted first off 420 Day blowout was a, you know, bust.

"Well, we had 1,200 paying people and we had another 200 comps," Nigro says. "But I just thought it would be busier."

And well it might have been, had Niro not chickened out in promoting the event with weak-wristed quotes like, "Well, we're not calling it 420 Day. Our event's called the Westport Smokeout and we're going to do some fun things."

See what I mean?

Starbeams: The Top Five Signs You're at a Chinese (AMC) Movie Theater

Kansas City based AMC Theatres may be sold to a Chinese company.  AMC recently broke ground on its new headquarters at 117th and Nall.  However, if they're going to be based in China, they'll need to keep digging for some time.

THE TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'RE AT A CHINESE BASED MOVIE THEATER:

#5. Romantic comedies involve someone getting kicked.

#4. You can save the popcorn bowl for a hair cut.

#3. Instead of popcorn, you get itty bitty ears of corn.

Sounds Good: Spring into Summer@Replay, Delbert McClinton@Knuckleheads, Tennis@RecordBar, Truckstop Honeymoon@Barnyard

 

All my picks this week are on Saturday, so you’ve got some touch choices to make...

Plus there’s a Sporting KC game Saturday at 7:30.  The boys in blue are away at rival Chicago, so if you can’t park it in front of the tube at 7:30, make sure to set the old DVR.

In other concert news: the much anticipated James Morrison concert that was scheduled for the Granada tonight has unfortunately been cancelled.  I believe Mr. Morrison will be hitting up Jay Leno tonight instead.  His loss, right?

On to the picks!